Did the relationship start off great and now seems to be going downhill? Are you wondering why you are blocked when it comes to intimacy or expressing what's really going on for you? Wondering if you will ever get this whole relationship thing right and if you will ever be satisfied?
These are the questions so many of us have.
Relationships can be tricky and messy. At the same time, there is a joy in relationships that is deeply fulfilling. Problem is, most of us can't have one without the other. If we numb ourselves to the bad stuff, we also numb ourselves to the good stuff. Sometimes, when dealing with another human being, a person that we really have no control over, we hit a brick wall. We suffer. We want to give up. It can be exhausting and can have an enormous impact on our day-to-day lives. A fight that morning can cause an inability to be present at work that day, a fight at work that day can cause us to take it out on our partner that evening.
Some of us get out of one relationship, into another, then find the same issues come up. Frustrated, we might beat ourselves up over our choices or become resigned that we will ever be able to have what we want. Dissatisfied and disconnected, we stay out of relationships for a while until we feel lonely again, craving the intimacy and connection. Then the whole cycle begins again.
Some of us find ourselves in relationships with a whole new set of issues that we never even dreamed we would have to deal with. Maybe our new partner has kids, maybe we relate to ourselves as strong; yet, we become weak and lose our voice with this new person, maybe they want to get married and we don't, maybe we are simply finding it hard to trust and let go.
And there are those of us who have been in the same long-term relationship and the joy has died, the intimacy is practically non-existent, and the thought of letting go of our best friend is more than we can bear; yet, we don't see how to continue.
Whether the issue seems new or familiar, whether you are in serial relationships or long-term commitment, relationships can be the ultimate challenge.
And there is hope. Often what is at the root of our issues in relationships started a long time ago. Cutting off the negative emotional supply at the source can stop obstacles to healthy relationships from growing and continuing to show up again and again. Though it might seem like a “new” issue, chances are, it’s not. Chances are you took on some way of behaving that simply put, wasn’t yours. The good news is, once uprooted, you will no longer be locked into patterns and reactions that have continued to erode the quality of your relationships.